Look mom, Pirates!

Today I decided to take a little trip to Forever 21 to purchase a white t-shirt to go with my black pencil skirt and way too fashion forward hat. As I was walking to the store, minding my own business, a wonderful thing happened.

I saw a pirate.

He was wearing loose-fitting trousers, a stripey shirt, had a white beard...and an eye patch. I know, it was SO cool. I suddenly did this thing in my head where I imagine this whole scenario involving the pirate who was probably called One-Eyed Bill or something by his mates and unfortunately the crew was missing enough stripey shirts and they were threatening to mutiny unless Bill took action. Bill, with some misgivings, dons his civilian clothes and heads into the wide world. He immediately thinks of Forever 21, since they have many inexpensive nautical items and he can purchase a boating hat and anchor pendant. However, what he doesn't know is that Forever 21 is mostly for girls. DISASTER! He then decides to get an icy beverage at coffee depot and decides instead to go to the Gap where he will purchase several attractive shirts for his crew.

This is what went through my head in the 15 or so seconds when I crossed paths with the pirate. Along with "Can I join your crew since I have no future on land?"

These are the places my brain goes sometimes.

But really. It was a pirate.

the write time, the wrong place

So yesterday I bought some pens. Special inky pens, one of which is sitting next to me as I type this. I realized the night before that all I own are pencils, and it was high time to diversify my writing with some new utensils! I mean, who doesn't own pens? I remember owning pens at one time in my life, but for some reason they all up and disappeared. I am planning to guard these with my life. Possibly even give them names.

Sad, yes.

Regrets...nope.

In other news, I recently thought up an exciting idea for a novel. Here it is:

Picture our world, as it is, with its cell-phones and iphones and computers and all sorts of exciting technological wonders. Cut to some evil corporate people building a giant machine.

Now this machine is an electromagnetic pulse machine...aka an EMP. When activated, it shuts down all the technology in the world. WHAT DO WE DO?? CHAOS, PANIC, ETC. ENSUES!!!

If this were not bad enough, all the evil corporate people decide that they are now going to hold the technology captive by some equally evil design and no one will have any technology ever. What to doooooo?

ENTER some lovable yet resilient nerds who manage to overcome the lack of technology by living all primitively and make their way to the evil corporate headquarters where they manage to take out the corporation using primitive weapons like wooden stakes and take down the bad guys!! Plus, people fall in love.

Here is where it gets tricky. We have ending one, where the plucky heroes restore technology to the ailing world...OR they decide the world is better off without tech and decide to create humanity anew. I haven't decided yet.

Good thing we have a plan!!

So here is a conversation I overheard today on my way to the Post. It involved two maintenance men (here known as mm1 and mm2). Let me start by saying its raining here. It's raining a lot.

mm1- yeah, I feel like that would work
mm2- but we definitely have more than forty... (says something I can't hear)
mm1- they could all go two by two.
mm2- now if we could only find some gopher wood.
mm1- what is gopher wood anyway?
mm2- there's actually a lot of debate about what gopher wood actually is.

There you have it. The secret plot of the maintenance men. THEY ARE GOING TO BUILD AN ARK AND PUT US ON IT!!!!

Thank goodness for CBU's rain contingency plans. I actually feel much safer now.

But... what if we can't all fit on the boat? What then? What if I get paired up with someone I don't like? Will we have to be together forever or just to get on the Ark? I will think about this.