So most of my life lately has been sitting in the library and writing the scads of papers that I have due for various classes. Let me just say, after this week I am determined never to think about Shakespeare again.

Anyway.

Here is an idea for a story I had, inspired by Mr. Shakespeare and his various portrayals of weavers.

Okay, so there is this weaver right, and he gets kicked out of his guild. Broke and desperate, he decides to turn to a life of crime and highway robbery. Along the way, he meets up with other misfit artisans who have also been de-guilded and they decide to form a mercenary robbery company...like, rich people will hire them and they will rob other rich people. Because they have these common skills, like weaving and smithing, they make this totally awesome band of thieves and are super creative (Like the weaver guy makes their outfits and the apothecary would make smoke and stuff to conceal them, and the blacksmith made them weapons etc...)

Everything is going well until a really evil band of thieves decide to take them out...and then there will probably also be a noble who hates them and wants revenge for being robbed and maybe the other guilds will get angry. There will probably also be love triangles, cause I like those.

So...yeah. Coming soon to a bookstore near you.

Look mom, Pirates!

Today I decided to take a little trip to Forever 21 to purchase a white t-shirt to go with my black pencil skirt and way too fashion forward hat. As I was walking to the store, minding my own business, a wonderful thing happened.

I saw a pirate.

He was wearing loose-fitting trousers, a stripey shirt, had a white beard...and an eye patch. I know, it was SO cool. I suddenly did this thing in my head where I imagine this whole scenario involving the pirate who was probably called One-Eyed Bill or something by his mates and unfortunately the crew was missing enough stripey shirts and they were threatening to mutiny unless Bill took action. Bill, with some misgivings, dons his civilian clothes and heads into the wide world. He immediately thinks of Forever 21, since they have many inexpensive nautical items and he can purchase a boating hat and anchor pendant. However, what he doesn't know is that Forever 21 is mostly for girls. DISASTER! He then decides to get an icy beverage at coffee depot and decides instead to go to the Gap where he will purchase several attractive shirts for his crew.

This is what went through my head in the 15 or so seconds when I crossed paths with the pirate. Along with "Can I join your crew since I have no future on land?"

These are the places my brain goes sometimes.

But really. It was a pirate.

Just like the real thing...but better!

Today I decided to make muffins.

However, these were no ordinary muffins. They were EGG MUFFINS...kind of like tiny quiche...only no crust. I made them with spinach and mushrooms and felt really super artistic. I feel like maybe they needed more spices or something since I just kinda guessed about how much to cook them. When I buy heart-shaped cupcake tins at Sur-la-Table, I will make heart shaped egg muffins and life will be glorious.

the write time, the wrong place

So yesterday I bought some pens. Special inky pens, one of which is sitting next to me as I type this. I realized the night before that all I own are pencils, and it was high time to diversify my writing with some new utensils! I mean, who doesn't own pens? I remember owning pens at one time in my life, but for some reason they all up and disappeared. I am planning to guard these with my life. Possibly even give them names.

Sad, yes.

Regrets...nope.

In other news, I recently thought up an exciting idea for a novel. Here it is:

Picture our world, as it is, with its cell-phones and iphones and computers and all sorts of exciting technological wonders. Cut to some evil corporate people building a giant machine.

Now this machine is an electromagnetic pulse machine...aka an EMP. When activated, it shuts down all the technology in the world. WHAT DO WE DO?? CHAOS, PANIC, ETC. ENSUES!!!

If this were not bad enough, all the evil corporate people decide that they are now going to hold the technology captive by some equally evil design and no one will have any technology ever. What to doooooo?

ENTER some lovable yet resilient nerds who manage to overcome the lack of technology by living all primitively and make their way to the evil corporate headquarters where they manage to take out the corporation using primitive weapons like wooden stakes and take down the bad guys!! Plus, people fall in love.

Here is where it gets tricky. We have ending one, where the plucky heroes restore technology to the ailing world...OR they decide the world is better off without tech and decide to create humanity anew. I haven't decided yet.

Good thing we have a plan!!

So here is a conversation I overheard today on my way to the Post. It involved two maintenance men (here known as mm1 and mm2). Let me start by saying its raining here. It's raining a lot.

mm1- yeah, I feel like that would work
mm2- but we definitely have more than forty... (says something I can't hear)
mm1- they could all go two by two.
mm2- now if we could only find some gopher wood.
mm1- what is gopher wood anyway?
mm2- there's actually a lot of debate about what gopher wood actually is.

There you have it. The secret plot of the maintenance men. THEY ARE GOING TO BUILD AN ARK AND PUT US ON IT!!!!

Thank goodness for CBU's rain contingency plans. I actually feel much safer now.

But... what if we can't all fit on the boat? What then? What if I get paired up with someone I don't like? Will we have to be together forever or just to get on the Ark? I will think about this.

So I've been home now for a few days and am house-sitting for these two dogs. (Well, actually for the people, but I am taking care of two dogs...) I really enjoy house-sitting but I always feel a little weird about sleeping in someone else's bed or using their shower. I tend to overthink things like "You usually use this and now I am...should I bring my own shampoo?"

Anyway.

I had a traumatic incident at a holiday party the other evening. I was filling my coffee cup with hot coffee when BAM, the bottom of my ceramic mug just dropped out onto the floor. Like, the WHOLE thing just went away. There was this perfect circle crack all around the mug where the bottom had just decided it didn't want to be attached anymore. (P.S. this is a ceramic mug. Like, legit. Not even paper!) Also, the cup happened to be full of hot coffee, which then spilled all over me and my cute dress.

I feel like I had one of those moments, when I was standing there covered in scalding coffee, where I really wanted to cry but couldn't cause I was in public. So instead I asked for a blowdryer to dry my dress. It was sad. And hot.

Now I am going to buy some Christmas presents and my mom is reminding me to water my plants. Ciao!

awkward is the new cool!

So I have been reading a lot of literary blogs lately, and have run across Good Reads. Anyone heard of good reads? For a read-y type person like me, it is basically awesome, since you can find books and rate them and see what other people are reading. Basically, I go on and rate YA books and snigger when I see that lots of people rated Twilight really low.

Yeah. that's right. I said snigger.

I was having this conversation with roommate J. last night and we were talking about blogging and how basically its a cool forum to write all your awkward thoughts, but its okay because now awkward is "cool" and "trendy." In the old days, dudes who wore suspenders, glasses and plaid were nerds. Now, they are sexy and we want to date them. When did this happen?

Personally, I love awkward/nerdy people. I think it's because I identify with them. Besides, many awkward people have gone on to do great things. Like publish books, or own multi-billion dollar corporations, or invent the theory of relativity (okay, so I don't KNOW if Einstein was awkward and nerdy, but he TOTALLY looks like he could be!!)

So in conclusion, I hope nerds don't go out of style. Or good books.